What does it mean to be a man?

Problem Statement:

Recent history shows us that the church at large, and men in particular have been confused on how to define manhood. Many in the church, and in the non-church world, have identified a problem with the young men of today and our extended adolescence. Most men my age in the church are completely confused as to what it means to be a Godly man. So is it all our fault? In large part yes. However, it's not just my generation that is neck deep in confusion. I believe my father and grandfather's generations were just as confused. I want to first start with my grandfather's generation, the dad's of the baby boomers. Please give me some liberty to speak with broad strokes as I fully know that there are many exceptions that won't fit my generalities. In every generation there have been Godly, Gospel-Centered, biblical men.

As I listen to my father and his buddies talk about their fathers, I hear uncanny similarities in their stories. My grandfather is a hard man. He grew up in a home that was incredibly abusive, and with a father that was rumored to be a murderer. My grandpa followed in his father's sinful footsteps. I hear stories from my dad about his own childhood and can hardly hold back the tears. My grandpa had no idea of what it meant to be a biblical man. All he knew was classic chauvinism and hard work. My dad's buddies have similar stories of abusive or absent dads who had little to no ability to lead the family spiritually or emotionally. I can't tell you how many men's meetings I have been to where man after man would tell of how they never heard their dad say I love you. Their fathers worked hard, but sinfully confused hard work and manhood as being synonyms. For my grandfather and men of that day many of them had been to war, and calloused to any expressions of emotion or vulnerability. So for them being a man was simply doing what duty demanded. So, for my grandpa and his generation there were clear lines of what a man does and what a woman does. The problem was that culture and wars had defined the roles rather than the bible.

So what about the sons of those in my grandfathers generation? In large part the men my dad's age grew up knowing that they did not want to end up like their fathers. I grew up knowing that my dad loved me, and he was able to tell me that regularly. I did not grow up in an abusive home. In fact my father spent time with me, and played sports with me. My dad made it a priority to come to my sports games because he knew how bad it hurt that his dad never did. I know my dad is not the only one who learned from his dad what kind of man not to be. The problem, however, is that many of my dad's generation still do not know what it means to be a man. For them manhood is simply being the opposite of what they saw in their own fathers. Simply becoming the opposite of an already unbiblically defined man, many of the men in their 50-60's love their kids but are passive men who let their wives make all the decisions. They say stupid things like “The best advice I can give you is that your wife is always right." or even, "So your wife let you come tonight?", or "My old lady is a home". In the church, this is also reflected by few men who truly know their bibles and lack ability to lead in the church and lead young men. Many of the mens groups that I have been to have been filled with confused men who are looking at porn and lying to their wives about it but consoling themselves with the fact that they are honest to these other men.

So my generation has grown up see two huge problems. Our grandpas were hard and abusive men and our dads were passive in the church and passive in the home. The sins of these generations are clear to see and the damage that has been done to our women and kids has been incalculable. Where men and the church are confused about biblical manhood, women will be mistreated.

I have found few older men in the churches that I have been a part of who can open the bible and talk to me about biblical manhood. So how are young men to learn? What does it mean to be a biblical man? The Trinity and the Gospel will provide us with answers.

The Science of Jesus Christ is the most excellent of sciences.

Excerpt from the Sermon "The Bible" by Charles Spurgeon
"The science of Jesus Christ is the most excellent of sciences. Let no one turn away from the Bible because it is not a book of learning and wisdom. It is. Would ye know astronomy? It is here: it tells you of the Sun of Righteousness and the Star of Bethlehem  Would you know botany? It is here: it tells of the plant of renown- the Lily of the Valley, the Rose of Sharon. Would you know geology and mineralogy  You shall learn it here: for you may read of the Rock of Ages, and the White Stone with the name engraven thereon, which no man knoweth saving he that recieveth it. Would ye study history? Here is the most ancient of all the records of the history of the human race. Whate'er you science is, come and bend o'er this book; your science is here. Come and drink out of this fair fount of knowledge and wisdom, and ye shall find yourselves made wise unto salvation. Wise and foolish, babes and men, grey-headed sires, youths and maidens- I speak to you, I plead with you, I beg of you respect your Bibles, and search them out, for in them ye think ye have have eternal life, and these are they which testify of Christ." Charles Spurgeon

Good Books for Families

Family Spiritual Formation Pack

Bible

This first place to start with family discipleship is the bible. Find a year reading plan (Simply google it) and start it as a family. If you don’t want to go by a year reading plan then start in the New Testament and read a chapter at a time. Dad, rally the troops and dive into the bible.

Jesus Storybook Bible Deluxe Edition Sally-Lloyd Jones

All Ages

This is a great book for people of all ages. This will help to understand the bible as a whole. This will help you see how the bible fits together and how Jesus is what the bible is about. It may be a children’s bible but this is for all ages. Parents, you will learn.

Knowing God by J.I. Packer

All Ages

This is a Great Read for Parents. There are many books that give factual information about God, but this book is different. As the author says “This book will help know God, and not simply know about Him.”

Recovering the Roles of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Wayne Grudem, John Piper

Adults

This is a comprehensive look at the equality of men and women and the unique design of men and women. This book is a great reference book that covers almost any question you have about gender roles from the bible.

Let Me Be a Woman Elizabeth Elliot

Age 10-Adult Ladies

Elizabeth Elliot does in this small book what theologians take 1000 pages to do. She addresses the lost beauty of biblical femininity.

Mark of a Man Elizabeth Elliot

Age 10- Adult Men

You might think it is odd that a book on masculinity is written by a women. Read this book as if you are being summed by a grandmother to step up and be the man God is calling you to be. This wise old woman understands biblical masculinity and is eager to share about it.

Death By Love Mark Driscoll

Age 16 to Adult

This book gives the reader a firm foundation about the bigness of the Gospel. Each chapter breaks down a different accomplishment of the cross. This is a highly informative, emotive, and practical book.

Systematic Theology Wayne Grudem

For the Family

This book is a theological reference book. This systematic theology will help you to better understand God with about 1200 pages of rock solid biblical information. This book is good for any family to have to get some hard questions answered in an understandable way.

Christian Beliefs: 20 Basics Every Christian Should Know Elliot Grudem

Age 9 to Adult

It seems that many doctrines of our faith have come to be either assumed or forgotten. This book will give broad stoke overviews of some basics of our faith. You may agree or disagree with some of the chapters. Let them be a challenge to you.

Morning and Evening C.H. Spurgeon

All Ages

This book is perfect for family time prayer and devotional.  

Is There Such a Thing as Biblical Manhood and Womanhood?

   By God's grace in 2005, I discovered the truth of biblical manhood and womanhood. Previous to that year I had no idea what it meant to be a man. What I soon discovered is that I was not the only one in the dark about how the bible addresses men and women. I was accompanied by almost everyone I knew, and from every church I had ever been a part of. Growing up for me included being around many men who seemed afraid of their wives, and many wives who called the shots. Most of the men's and women's groups reflected that fact by men confessing sins to each other but not their wives. The women gathering together bashing their husbands, and discussing their princess-hood. Those groups had a veneer of health, but at times actually encouraged dishonesty between spouses, and sinful understandings of the sexes. The misunderstandings, or the silence of biblical gender roles, is a problem all over the world but one I have seen to be rampant in our area. So, what does the bible have to say about this?

   In college I was required to take Systematic Theology 1 and 2. One of the textbooks for those classes was a book titled Evangelical Theology. A chapter in the book was written by Elaine Storkey and was entitled “Evangelical Theology and Gender” in which she argues that “Gender is not an indigenous theological concept but a sociological one”. Essentially the argument from her is that if male and female are created equal then they ultimately have to be the same (Egalitarian Position). As an egalitarian she argues that any idea of Male and Female roles cannot come from the bible, rather it comes from broken cultural and sociological foundations. Is this true? Is the concept of gender simply born through culture and sociology, or is it rooted in the bible? If Elaine Storkey is right, manhood and womanhood do not exist, and it is inappropriate for me to go beyond person-hood to address men as men and woman as women. So this first post is devoted to explaining biblical Complimentarianism, the idea that God has created men and woman equal but unique. He has created us to compliment each other.

“Then God said “Let us make man in our image, and after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over tall the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.”

The foundation for understanding the beauty of men and women is found in the God who created us in His own image. As we look to the Trinity we find some key pointers for us as we try to figure out what it means to be human, but also what it means to be different as male and female.

   Within the Trinity there is complete equality. Biblical orthodoxy demands that we look at the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as One God in three persons. While maintaining that The Father is fully God, The Son is fully God, and the Holy Spirit is fully God. All Christians agree that there is absolute equality within the Godhead. So as people created in the image of that God we are to affirm the equality of both men and women who are created in the image of God. It is inappropriate for a man or a woman to feel as if they are somehow superior to the other simply because of their gender. It is also not okay for a man to be a chauvinist, causing a woman to ever feel “less than”. The Christian position leads us to a place of demanding than men and women be treated and esteemed as equal in value. Does this then mean that men and women are the same? If men are given a specific role, and women their specific role does that mean one is less prized than the other?

   The second thing we need to see when we look to the Trinity is that the Father, Son, and Spirit have differing roles, yet maintain equality. The bible reveals the beauty of both headship, and submission. Jesus says in Jn 12: 49 “ For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself given me a commandment- what to say and speak” and 1 Cor 11:3 says “the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God”. These are just two examples of what the scriptures over and over again affirm that Jesus is fully God, but He was sent by His Father and that He submitted to Him even to the point of sweating blood and death on a cross. Within God we see full equality, paired with specific orderly roles. Egalitarians like Elaine Storkey would argue back, and she does in the same chapter that was previously mentioned, that Jesus submission is only present in the incarnation of Christ on earth, but is not something that is present eternally. The problem with that position, other than not having scriptural support, is that it requires seeing the eternal God as changing during the incarnation into something different than how God has eternally functioned. God is no longer the God who is the same yesterday today and forever, but God who for a while functioned in a way that is actually different than He always has. Yet another huge problem for the egalitarian position is that while they maintain the obedience of Jesus as He submits to the Father, they deny the beauty of it. The egalitarian actually has to look at Jesus in the garden as He submits to the Father's will and see it as derogatory and demeaning, rather than beautiful and life giving.

   Men and women who are reading this: The God of the bible is beautiful. Gender roles are not just a post Gen 3 reality, but continue to shine bright from Gen 1 through the rest of the bible. The submission of Jesus to the Father did not bring death, but rather it brought life. The servant leadership of Jesus, as seen in his substitutionary life, death, and resurrection for his church is not to be looked down upon. Only within a complementarian position are we provided with the framework to see the beauty of manhood and womanhood. As we look to Jesus we have a rock solid substitute, and example of perfect manhood and womanhood.

So I affirm that true manhood and womanhood are not a happenstance of culture, but are the idea of the very God we worship.

1 Elaine Storkey, Evangelical Theology, Chapter 11, pg 161

What is Biblical Manhood?

My reasons for writing on Biblical Manhood

• Our area (Southern Illinois Churches) have little/no understanding of true Manhood. 
• Older Christian Men seem just as confused as the younger men I know. 
• Ladies need to know about the beauty of Biblical Womanhood but also about God's design of  Biblical Manhood.
• Most of our (So Ill Churches) people wont read awesome books by Piper, Grudem, Kostenburger, Eric Mason, Elizabeth Elliot but will read stuff I put out. Hopefully these posts will lead some readers to read the better stuff. 

These are the planned posts. 

Is there such a thing as biblical manhood and womanhood?

Why Does it mean to be a man?

The Trinity God and men. 

The Gospel and men.

Men Love like Jesus Loves.

Men Serve Like Jesus served.

Men Lead Like Jesus leads. 

Men are Honest.

Men Fight sin by Loving the Gospel.

Thankful for Paragraphs like this.

Sometimes when reading a book I get stopped by the power of the truth that is being written. This morning God used this paragraph from John Piper's "The Pleasures of God" to do just that.

"But the gospel is the good news that God is the all-satisfying end of all our longings, and that even though he does not need us, and is in fact estranged from us because of our God-belittling sins, he has, in the great love with which he loved us, made a way for sinners to drink at the river of his delights through Jesus Christ. And we will not be enthralled by this good news unless we feel that he was not obliged to do this. He was not coerced or constrained by our value. He is the center of the gospel. The exaltation of his glory is the driving force of the gospel. The gospel is a gospel of grace! And grace is the pleasure of God to magnify the worth of God by giving sinners the right and power to delight in God without obscuring the glory of God." Loc 346

I HAD TO STOP PREACHING TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

I had to much morning coffee.

I went to the bathroom before the service.

It was about my time and my bladder was about to explode.

I was called up and said?

“The great thing about the Gospel of Jesus is that it is so powerful that it has the ability to make strangers family. I don't know you and you do not know me. I have likes and dislikes, hobbies and the opposite of hobbies  but we all have one thing that binds us together. As Christians, we all have Jesus as our central passion and hobby. Jesus has brought us together as family. So since you are my family I have to ask something from you. This has never happened to me before and will probably never happen again, and you have probably never seen what I am about to ask. I have had way to much coffee and I need you to take one more 2 minute greeting time and let me run out and do what I need to do.”

They died laughing! After the service Jordan and I spent some time talking about how well the people revived such an odd request. Now I hope that never happens to me again but I am thankful that the Gospel is so big that I am a part of a family of Christians that would rather me be honest and go to the bathroom than preach a really lame, really rushed sermon. It also seems to me that the non-believers that were present got a wonderful privilege of seeing the church be a family. So I am thankful for the Gospel and God's unique providence even in my once in a lifetime experience.

The is the link to the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kg_zVVYFx7Q&feature=youtu.be